zeph0r:

The ‘no vote’ column fills me with a sense of despair.
Jesus Christ.
Why.

Because if you don’t like National there’s no competent alternative. Lab+Green+Winston+Internet+Mana would have been a disaster for the country, people realised that, and so didn’t vote.

How to fix this? Get a competent alternative.

Called it on Te Tai Tokerau, 23 April

Me on that date, following the resignation of Shane Jones:

If National made this happen they’re fucking brilliant. Think of all the things that would have to come together.

Sir Wira Gardiner secretly donates to Jones’s leadership campaign. Murray McCully informally sounds Jones out as to whether or not Jones really wants to spend another three years on the Opposition benches with a bunch of pakeha unionists, gay-rights activists, and tree-hugging hippies who hate him and hints that a high-level government job focused on Pacific economic development with a resources-slash-fisheries angle may soon be created if the right candidate could be found. Jones sees the writing on the hull and jumps from the sinking Good Ship Labour, which means that the next candidate off the Labour List gets tapped for a return to Parliament and oh ho ho guess who it is - Kelvin Davis. Kelvin Davis, a by-all-accounts bright talented hetero Maori male who got shafted by the sisterhood for being a bright talented hetero Maori male and who got given an embarrassingly low list position before the last election and who lost his job as a result. Being a lowly-ranked List MP who has already once been fucked by the party Kelvin Davis will feel like his hetero male testicles are on a table next to a pile of hammers unless he can win an electorate seat, and his home seat is oh ho ho it gets even better TE TAI TOKERAU. Which means to have any sort of job security Davis has to defeat Hone Harawira in an electorate race, which means Kelvin Davis has to knock the Mana Party and its parasite Kim Dotcom Party completely out of NZ politics and deprive the Labour Party of an entire coalition partner. Having a bright talented hetero Maori male running on the left in Te Tai Tokerau means that Harawira and Dotcom will be put under a fucking microscope during the election which is something I’m guessing neither of them want to happen. And this is all now a lot easier for Davis because he’s now back in parliament because Shane Jones retired after being offered a job by Murray McCully, and being back in parliament means he gets to run this knock-off-Harawira Te Tai Tokerau electorate campaign with parliamentary funding.

Possible outcomes:

1. Kelvin Davis runs a good campaign with support from Labour and defeats Harawira in Te Tai Tokerau. Mana Party out of Parliament. National laughs.

2. Kelvin Davis loses Te Tai Tokerau when he gets hung out to dry AGAIN by Labour which gives him shitty support in his campaign because they want a possible coalition-partner party in Parliament more than they want a bright talented hetero Maori male on their own team. Labour thus confirms that it a) hates heterosexual males and b) hates Maoris all in one go, thus further pigeonholing itself as an extreme-left party. National laughs.

If McCully (and let’s be honest, he wouldn’t have done this himself, so let’s include John Key) and National actually foresaw these possible outcomes and specifically targeted Jones in order to make them more likely, they have got serious game.

ledazzledude:

That one U2 fan with an iphone be like:

image

yey free U2 Album

the rest of the world with iphones be likeimage

(via fuckyeahdementia)

parislemon:


blazepress:

Bats illuminated by lightning.

This is what nightmares look like in GIF form.


Nah that’s just Sydney most summer evenings.

parislemon:

blazepress:

Bats illuminated by lightning.

This is what nightmares look like in GIF form.

Nah that’s just Sydney most summer evenings.

If we were to meet the California Hells Angels of the 1960s

…we’d laugh at them as “hipsters”.

Photos by Hunter S. Thompson

"It’s a sad thing. It’s like you’re looking for John Coltrane and you get Kenny G in brown skin."

The most epic burn in the history of political discourse.

On Nespresso pod coffee

It’s all very well to get hung up on the ritual of coffee. The grinding, the frothing, the blahblahblah. Just like the ritual of vinyl. The sleeve, the smell, the liner notes, the needle, the blahblahblah. 

I DON’T HAVE TIME TO GIVE A FUCK. 

In the same way a digital music library gives me access to any music I want within seconds of deciding I want to hear it, Nespresso gives me access to various different blends of coffee from different parts of the world within seconds of deciding I want to drink it. From staggering into the kitchen with my eyes still shut to drinking beautiful hot caffeine takes about 40 seconds. If I decide I want to try this other sort of coffee from Elbonia or wherever the fuck, I tap my phone a few times and it turns up at the door a couple of days later. 

Never going back to dealing with coffee fuckwits in stores and standing there in the kitchen in cryosleep while shit grinds and reaches pressure and fuck off.

Me, 2012. Reads like a morning post.

One of the points at which I realised childhood was over was when I sat up and went “Um, these DC comics are ridiculous. There are superheroes who can travel faster than light, fly through suns unharmed, and some are able to literally reboot the universe. Meanwhile over here in the Marvel pile Spidey’s getting the crap beaten out of him and getting dumped by his girlfriend on a monthly basis, Wolverine’s a head case, and Iron Man’s an alcoholic. These are people. They are actually interesting.”

mashable:

According to Blowfish, a company that makes tablets for treating hangovers, about 50% of people have admitted to going to work hungover. The data is based on a study produced in October 2013, which surveyed 5,249 Americans over the age of 21.

Americans. So soft. mashable:

According to Blowfish, a company that makes tablets for treating hangovers, about 50% of people have admitted to going to work hungover. The data is based on a study produced in October 2013, which surveyed 5,249 Americans over the age of 21.

Americans. So soft.

mashable:

According to Blowfish, a company that makes tablets for treating hangovers, about 50% of people have admitted to going to work hungover. The data is based on a study produced in October 2013, which surveyed 5,249 Americans over the age of 21.

Americans. So soft.

“Any time Uncle Sam, with all his machinery for warfare, is held to a draw by some rice eaters, he’s lost the battle. He had to sign a truce. America’s not supposed to sign a truce. She’s supposed to be bad. But she’s not bad any more. She’s bad as long as she can use her hydrogen bomb, but she can’t use hers for fear Russia might use hers. Russia can’t use hers, for fear that Sam might use his. So, both of them are weapon-less. They can’t use the weapon because each’s weapon nullifies the other’s. So the only place where action can take place is on the ground. And the white man can’t win another war fighting on the ground. Those days are over. The black man knows it, the brown man knows it, the red man knows it, and the yellow man knows it. So they engage him in guerrilla warfare. That’s not his style. You’ve got to have heart to be a guerrilla warrior, and he hasn’t got any heart.”
— Malcolm X, speech at Cory Methodist Church, Cleveland, Ohio (April 3, 1964)

Back in June I said this.

You’re damn right I’m paying cash money to see Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel deserves every cent just for taking the gamble

https://twitter.com/simongarlick/status/480231660177215488

And it looks like I’m not the only one.

'Guardians of the Galaxy' Orbits $100 Million at Box Office

The opening day of Marvel-Disney’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” has demolished forecasts — so much so that it may reach the iconic $100 million mark in its first weekend.

http://bostonherald.com/entertainment/music/music_news/2014/08/guardians_of_the_galaxy_orbits_100_million_at_box_office

<3

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